Being ‘deeply’ seen.

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It is the year 2015 and I’m in love with this year.  And that is not because it has been a particularly lucky year, a prosperous year, nor has it been my most memorable year to date.  There has not been any intense life defining moments, like the birth of a child or a career change.  It has simply been months of time like turned pages in an novel.  One that I’ve spent some time reading passages of, making sure I’m in sync with the narrative.  Making sense of the day to day and being thankful for the ordinary.

Status Update: this morning I went for a run into the Rocky Cape National Park, from the Sisters Beach boat ramp inland, past the Doone Falls turn-off and onto the untouched sand of Anniversary Bay on low tide.  It was an hour of BREATHING, blood pulsing and scrub sounds in the periphery of my twittering thoughts.  There were meditative moments, but I was surprised at how much my head rambled with other stuff and feet hurt.

I was more numb than I would’ve liked to be, alone in the muted- green rolling landscape with the foreboding wind of a low front pushing me from behind.  My solo presence did bring me closer to many birds going about their morning flight.  I had eye contact with a Robin red breast and low flying Pacific gull.  Did a yoga stretch on the sand, alongside feathered friends.  Wiggled my cold feet one at a time, balancing on the shoreline and ran like a mad thing back to the car.

With lunch, I watched Brene` Brown on YouTube.  There are a few TED talks I’ve been checking out, as recommended on Brain Pickings.  So I sucked back a Chai and thought about ‘honouring the ordinary’, as inspired by her words, something I’ve nattered about with my sister before in general conversation and probably also here.  Us saying ‘yer think?’ about how it’s nice to elevate everyday moments in photography and art in general.  And Brene`, pronounced with the same sound as Renee if you’re wondering, is a researcher who looks at how humans numb fear and pain in place of allowing vulnerability to be seen.  Her analysis suggests that we can not numb one emotion exclusively, so when we numb eg. fear, we are also numbing joy.  We numb with medication, food and booze to name a few?  Exercise endorphins too?

It got me thinking back to my status update (which I did not post to FB because I’m too vulnerable? for that?), about running in the bush and along the empty beach, feeling a bit numb and sore in spots, and ordinary when I might have preferred some kind of spiritual renaissance of ‘my persona’ in that wild and wonderful place.  Nah, but it was beautiful.  It always is having that space and connection to the elements, only I might better celebrate my vulnerability, living with it.

Tan framed with morning cuppa

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